Should we be selfish ?

From the day we are born we are taught to be more loving, giving and sharing our love and happiness with others. Viewing this point from another angle, we are given the teachings to quit any form of selfishness in ourselves.

And through my this blog also I promote this. So you must be confused that why I am encouraging you, in my this blog post, to be selfish?

I believe that sometimes you have to be selfish and it's actually good for you and your soul. With being selfish I don't mean hurting someone. By being selfish I mean you should shift the rays of your focus from giving warmth and light to others, to yourself. Many times we end up doing those tasks that we never wanted to, but you probably did them "for the sake of" the relationship.

I simply ask you, why? 
Why do you do that?

If you don't want to say "NO" straightaway. I have observed that the same people who do things "for the sake of" are usually the same people who are left behind and never get that caring and love back from others. And it pains them more when the others are the same people for whom they did so much. We expect too much from them.[Read: Why do we get Hurt ?  ] 

If you said "NO" to them earlier, wouldn't you save yourself from this excruciating pain in the future?

And now if you wonder if you'll lose those friends, then I suggest to do this MORE because this way you'll end up with the few gems you've collected as your true friends.

Being selfish means taking time out to take your kids to the movie they've been waiting to watch, being selfish means cutting out all disturbances for an hour every day so that you can work for your dreams. Being selfish also means that switching off your cell phones and making love with your loved one like the old times. In short, being selfish means putting yourself and your priorities first and then the world.

Oscar Wilde put it so beautifully that "Be You. Everyone else is already taken"

And what is the best way to be you? By being selfish and understanding the need for being silent. [Read: Importance Of Silence ]

 I have been accused time and again by my friends that I don’t spend time with them on Whatsapp chats for long talks. By no means am saying that my friends are bad. They're awesome. I love them. But I love myself more than I love them. I do spend time with them,  but I make sure it’s quality time. Focus on Quality versus Quantity, because you deserve nothing less than first-class. This is the only secret that how I end up making at least one good friend wherever I go.

It's actually the different lens used by me and my friends that make our views so different. Both the parties are right. Am a guy who dreams wild dreams and does every bit to achieve them, so many times I have to forego outings with friends to work for my dreams. One such incident I remember was when I was in class XII. (It's actually the highest grade class in the senior secondary school in India) So we all were having our board exams coming up. After the farewell party was over, my friends and mostly all the batch mates went to the nearby mall to have some more fun. I was driving past them and was feeling terrible inside. My heart was aching as if shouting to my friends " wait, dude, am also coming " but something inside stopped me. And results in the exams were astonishing.

You need to be a bit ruthless in the way you spend your days in the present to realize your aspirations in the future. You need to be aware of the things that are eating up most of your time each day. And if being selfish is the way out then yes, be it. Spend some quality time with your loved ones, your friends as well and don't be so busy chasing the cheese that you end up as a trapped rat, alone.

Till next time.

Stay motivated. Stay excited. Stay happy.